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My Bloody Valentine

Released: 2009

Genre: Horror

Runtime: 1 hr 41 min

MPAA Rating: R

Director: Patrick Lussier

Starring: Jensen Ackles, Kerr Smith, Edi Gathegi, Jaime King, Betsy Rue, Tom Atkins, Kevin Tighe, Megan Boone

Remake is set on the 10th anniversary of the Valentine’s Day massacre that claimed the lives of 22 people.

An unoriginal but thoroughly refreshing horror.

Review by: TomElce

Added: 7 years ago

"It's fucking nuts! I know that." Such is a line of dialogue spoken in Patrick Lussier's My Bloody Valentine revamp and such is a fitting description of the movie itself. Humorously fun in a way that the recent, piss-poor Friday the 13th retread can only ever hope to be, director Lussier's slasher throwback embraces drama-as-parody while diving gleefully headfirst into uncompromisingly gruesome territory. From its opening massacre -- of which the sight of an eyeball bulging from the socket suggests better use of the tactics employed by 2006's abysmal Black Christmas (as well as summing up the film's general "who gives a shit" attitude towards the 3D technology it employs) -- through all that follows, My Bloody Valentine exists as a darkly humorous entry into the post-Millenium crowd of slash-horror remakes -- and a far better one than 2008's dreadful Prom Night at that.

For fans of the genre peeved that the Hollywood remake craze has often missed out the blood and guts once quintessential for the '80s golden age, Lussier indulges in the exploitative goods as much as can be expected. A dwarf, a perverted truck driver and a hot naked chick all feature in the movie's succession of unfortunate victims, here being struck off by the thought-to-be-dead psychopath miner Harry Warden (Richard John Waters), returning with trusty pickaxe in hand right around the same time as Tom Hanniger (Jensen Ackles), a survivor of Harry's original massacre, returns to town following a ten-year exile. Devoid of scares and lacking in suspense though My Bloody Valentine often is, it nonetheless qualifies as one of the more fun and adventurous films among the recent crowd of similarly-ilked films, an unoriginal but thoroughly refreshing dash through territory so often unendearing.