Review by: MiamiMovieCritic
Added: 8 years ago
The Golden Pants begins with an awesomely epic voiceover telling us about a retired naval captain (Gil Damon) hiring a young man (Brian Gillin) to help him find a golden pair of pants. As the captain explains, his uncle left him a map to find the pants, but it's of no use to him because the "map is in English. I can't read it." The sailors find the spot where the pants are buried, and the captain reveals that he needs the pants to win a race. Of course, the pants are made out of solid gold, so how he plans to win a foot race while wearing them remains a mystery… until the ending, which is about the most absurd thing I’ve ever seen.
The dialogue is laugh-out-loud funny. ("So what did you do before you became a retired naval captain, anyway?") But you expect that in a Minor Prophets movie. What distinguishes The Golden Pants is the music. You don't know funny until you’ve heard the title track. "Golden Paaaaants." Click here to listen.